Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The Last Few Blogs



Would Cadbury Cream Eggs taste as good if you could eat them all year round?

Ah, the Cadbury Cream Egg, a classic. Standing at about 3 inches tall and two inches around, this delectable faux-egg has become almost as popular an Easter Symbol as the walking dead Jesus himself. Who could forget the perturbing clucking-bunny commercials (especially the Cadbury Bunny Tryouts)? Forever, Cadbury has become the most quintessential easter treat (or at least running a close second to the hollow chocolate bunny).

But what's so good about it? All in all, it doesn't taste all that great. The quality of the chocolate is nice, it's silky and rich, but perhaps too rich. Before even getting to the creamy egg center, your mouth is filled with chocolate shell that leaves a sugary coating on the inside of your mouth. Maybe some people like this aspect of the candy. I, on the other hand, do not. And once you finally do make it to the center, you find yourself with more of a paste than a cream. The taste and texture aren't bad, in fact I think an oozing center may be completely unappetizing. Regardless, it's not what Cadbury advertises, though, and one can't help but feel slighted.

If these sub par candies were offered at Halloween, chances are your kids would trade them away to the slow kid next door in exchange for a damn M&Ms funpack. Bottom line is, Cadbury Eggs only taste good because they're offered for one month out of the year and offering them regularly would ruin the sales completely. Enjoy while you can, if you really want to put yourself through that.

And what's with Peeps?!


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Ah, the female breast. The universal symbol of maternity. Round, supple, soft, perky, bouncy... for the lucky. I, on the other hand, have been cursed from a young age to have issues with joybags 1 and 2.

I was 14 years old when I discovered a lump in my breast. I was on the heftier side, about 160 lbs and only 5'3, sporting a size 14 waist. The good news was the C-cups, nearing D's. Overall, the only part of me that I was happy with where my boobs. But after the boob-bomb was dropped, I knew my breasts would never be the same.

Wasn't too bad, though. The tumor was removed and the recovery was quick. And the size difference wasn't all too noticeable, and neither was the surgical scar. Problem was, my weight was starting to drop, my dress size was getting smaller, and my waist was shrinking. Before I knew it, I was nearing 16 years old and 115 lbs. My beloved nearly D's were now hardly B's. My breasts had lost their bounce, their mass, all the pep they once had. My bust was a bust. Now that I felt good about my weight, I felt horrible about what was underneath the underwire.

Between 16 and 19, my weight continued to fluctuate, ranging from 150 lbs back to 120 lbs. With the rapid weight gain and weight loss, my breast sizes jumped around as well, and with every fluctuation, the size difference between joybag 1 and 2 grew. My weight finally stabilized after going on Yaz birth control at 19. My breast(s) grew back to a size C, but my waist finally settled at a size 6. Problem was, only one breast, the one unscathed by surgery, comfortably fit the C cup. The other was now a B. An entire cup size difference between breasts is a difficult thing to live with, even though the bras that I had been purchasing hid the issue rather well.

Now, I'm 20 years old and preparing to go under the knife again. In 3-4 months, reconstructive surgery will done to level out the difference between the girls next door, and I'm milking it (haha! Lactating joke...) for all it's worth. This is my chance to get the perk, the fullness, the bounce I always wanted! And now I find myself boob shopping. I want even, but still natural. I want firmness, but still fleshy. I want lift, but with bounce. I want these. Look at the perfection! Doctor, sign me up for what this girl has, because lord knows tits that nice aren't natural.

Ah, I can't wait to wear a bikini again.


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Finally.

I've been promising myself to create a blog for several months now, if not nearing a year. I've had things like livejournals, deadjournals, blurtys, even myspace blogs in the past, but those all felt more like a diary than a blog to me. This time, I'm making a concerted effort to keep my posts less personal and more open for conversation. I want feed back. I thrive from it.

I'm not the strongest of writers out there. I'm much better at editing and fact-checking than sitting down and being motivated to pump out pages. When I do find myself motivated to write, it's usually more of a rant rather than an intelligent summery of what's on my mind. I can't promise that I won't rant here, although I'll attempt to keep those sort of entries for my personal journal.

I suppose a brief summery of myself is in order, though I don't usually like to try to sum up things like attributes. I'm a student currently at Florida Atlantic University and I'm studying Sociology and Psychology. Currently, I'm enjoying both equally and I'm not sure which will be my major, my minor, or if I'll go for a duel in both. I work at a learning center as an instructor for children K-8, and I adore it. I might talk about the kids I teach often, just because their so fascinating. Other than work and school, I'm pretty social and I have many hobbies. Coffee and wine, the arts, music, even video games every once and a while. I do kundalini on a weekly basis, although my yoga partner and I have been slacking these past couple Tuesdays.

I don't really want to say more. Not just yet. I suppose you'll learn as we go along, if you stick around, that is.

-- ONWARD! --

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