Friday, September 5, 2008

A Learning Experience

Little Miss Infidel got dumped late Tuesday night.

It was unexpected and a little shocking, but really put into perspective how important communication within a relationship is.

For the entirety of my recent relationship, I completely avoided any talk of anything remotely emotional. Looking back, I'm not quite sure why, though. Was I afraid that it would make him feel awkward? Was I embarrassed that I had emotions?

Or maybe it just seemed like a waste of time, since we were perfectly fine talking about more objective subjects, things we were more interested in. We shared a love for super smash brothers, quantum theory, Jodie Foster, morbid surrealism, eel sauce, Half-Life (one and two), Blizzard games, Opeth, Massive Attack, dinosaurs among so many other things. We could converse for extended periods about things like the corruption inside religion, women's rights, whether Aqua Teen or Metalocalypse was the better cartoon, and whether or not Sam Harris is the most suave neuroscientist in the secular community. The conversation was simply stimulating. It was something I craved and enjoyed.

But our similarities couldn't hold the relationship together. Our differences in appreciation for music, the way that we formulated our opinions, and how openly we discussed those things were something that simmered negatively, though ignored. I always thought our differences added interesting discussions in our relationship. I learned a lot, my mind was changed on some topics, and I enjoyed being challenged. But he didn't and in the end, it became the dealbreaker.

I wish I had known that now. And I would have had I just asked. Had we just talked about it, I would have known. And this break up wouldn't have blind-sided me the way it did.

We were going into 5 months of dating and we were never publicly affectionate. All in all, we seemed to pal around more than act like a couple. And I'm okay with that because it means we can still pal around. I haven't lost my friend, I just lost my date. It'll be a little awkward not getting a goodbye kiss anymore, but we can still bicker about whether or not Judas Priest's vocalist is obnoxious or glorious.

And so, I think I might get through this okay. If anything, I've learned a great deal about myself, about intelligence, about communication.

1 comment:

Rarus vir said...

My wife and I have a similar problem, I love philosophy and it makes her sleep, but it's no deal breaker.